To Act Like We Once Did
by sctwilightvampwolfgal
Summary: Alfred experiences nearly perfect deja vu at this particular line of the play that he is performing with Toris. *Theater/Acting AU.* *For AmeLiet Week Day Seven.*
There was a freedom to this as they all well knew, and that Alfred longed for.

The freedom to stop out of one's own boundaries and to become someone else; they were allowed to make mistakes sometimes too though in the end, they'd hopefully have enough practice to skillfully create a new experience for someone else to witness and see.

Alfred breathed in deeply as he watched the person that would play the part of his once lover in the play that they would be performing.

Seeing Toris come closer, felt to Alfred as much more powerful than perhaps it should.

He felt the tears prick at his eyes, knowing of the past, and of what this could all mean for him and how plays sometimes became much more real than the audience would have ever thought them to be.

Alfred felt Toris's gentle pressure on his hand, so he pulled him closer and whispered the forlorn yet loving lines that he'd been practicing since he'd known of his part into Toris's ear as he felt the other man step even closer as if drawn in by them though neither cried at the heartache that was both genuine and false that Alfred spoke of.

Toris pulled away from Alfred and with a sad smile spoke the words that Alfred had once heard years ago from this same man's lips though unrehearsed then, "I don't love you anymore."

Alfred bit his lips as he felt his own tears finally fall as his breath heaved from his heartbroken sadness.

The American tried to smile and tried to hide his own real and harsh emotions; this was theater after all, a place were past emotional experiences and emotion in itself were used to make the scenes come alive though they weren't supposed to actually break character and end up like this either.

Alfred stared at Toris when he could finally bring his gaze back up, and he found that Toris looked at him sadly though did not move closer as if to comfort Alfred and stayed still and separate as if he'd forgotten how.

This spoke to Alfred of that time a few years or so ago when Toris had behaved this same way and like that time Alfred wanted to lean closer to Toris, pull him in, and kiss this heartbreak away by proving to Toris that he still loved him.

How could Alfred even perform this play with Toris cast in his past love's position like all those years ago?

Nostalgia was not a strong enough word for Alfred's heartbreak to be defined as.

He turned away just quick enough to not see the small tears that dotted his Lithuanian ex-boyfriend's eyes.

* * *

Alfred loved to act, just ask anyone who knew him; he loved the thrill of being someone else yet himself all at once and the way his own emotions fueled a character's emotions just as well.

These days, Alfred hated acting however; he hated acting like he was not hurting, and he hated acting alongside his ex.

He wished that he could quit, but he loved his character and could play him perfectly even though he regretted auditioning for this play as well.

It hurt to see Toris every single day and to watch his own heart that just the day before seeing Toris again was happy now his heart began to wither as if it was a flower not getting enough carbon dioxide, water, and sunshine.

Alfred hated this feeling and just wished for it to stop but that could not happen with his heartbreak and past love brought back to his attention; Alfred had never moved on from Toris and may be this was why his pain seemed so obvious and so raw now or may be that was why he'd not moved on.

The American actor stared down to the ground as he thought yet again about that old relationship of his and Toris's and how it began slowly over a long period of time and first by friendship.

He'd known Toris since they were both little kids, and he'd spent ages with the Lithuanian growing up and had been comforted by his Lithuanian best friend after every heartbreak, and he'd even comforted him through his heartbreaks.

Eventually, they'd realized that they'd slowly fallen in love and so he'd asked him out really nervously and the happy and quiet "Yes" that met his ears had been the best thing that had happened to him.

When they began dating, it was not super different than what their friendship had been as now they kissed and were a little more affectionate than before.

Dating Toris had been a dream for Alfred until his love had told him that awful sentence and ended it much like how their play seemed to be.

Alfred wondered why he had to be put through this and why the pain had to be just as real and intense as all those years ago.

He wondered if it was just the memory of seemingly the same event except this time it was staged killed his heart though he knew that in actuality, that he was still in love with Toris and everything about him and that is why, his heart aches and withers due to this.

Alfred missed Toris though he knew that their 'relationship' would never be the same as they were never to date again.

* * *

Before that tragic seeming sentence were to be uttered by Toris and while they stood together, intertwined, on the stage, Toris whispered, "I still love you. I'm sorry for back then."

Alfred had to fight back a teary smile especially since those unscripted words were not to be acknowledged on stage and only for Alfred's ears and were to immediately be followed by that awful line spoken from Toris's well practiced lips.

After the play, Alfred made sure to hug Toris tightly back and even said that he was willing to try again if Toris really meant that.

He did, and now Alfred had a new moment to look back on with nostalgia and certain added joy as his heart had been revived with the beautiful energy that was not unlike the first time that they had went out.

* * *

Alfred smiled as he looked at their entwined fingers and the beautiful rings that shown on them.

True love could happen in unbelievable ways and even amid heartbreak.

Still. they both did not know of a happier time than now when all of that heartbreak and loneliness was over even though they sometimes still fought and life was not perfect like fiction can be for them.  
Love had its own ways of passing through obstacles and of being allowed to florish.

Alfred's smile grew as he turned his attention away from nostalgic memories and back to his true love; live would not be easy, but they had each other to rely on and to help get through each obstacle.


End file.
